It's 2am. I've been mourning tonight. It's hard when you are on your way to bed, and you discover that there is an unwelcome substance in the bathtub, again, that should have been in the toilet hours earlier, when the 4 year old took a bath. It's hard when you remember that every. single. bath Adam has taken lately has ended this way. It's hard. I started crying.
I was ok when Adam spent two weeks in the NICU for premature development after he was born - at 38 weeks.
I was ok when Adam spent two weeks in the NICU for premature development after he was born - at 38 weeks.
No one knew why he was underdeveloped. It seems that the rest of the family, and who knows how many family friends, were worried for his life. I never was scared. We knew what the problem was, the staff knew how to handle it, life moved on and it wasn't long before he was home with us.
I was ok when we noticed he had far more bruises than could ever be considered normal for a two-year-old boy.
I was ok when we noticed he had far more bruises than could ever be considered normal for a two-year-old boy.
I was ok when we found out he had a severely low platelet count. Concerned, yes, especially when two different medications were not improving matters. Concerned, yes, when the overseeing doctor ordered a bone marrow biopsy, to rule out leukemia as a pre-caution before trying a third medication. It scared the something out of me watching him drop out of consciousness from the sedation. But I was ok.
This is a little harder to handle. In the last two years, I've seen the equivalent of 6 months of growth. Adam will be 5 this fall, but he fits in a little better with a group of 2 and 3 year old kids than he does in my pre-k classroom. Adam can read, Adam can write. Adam has only been speaking full sentences for just over a year. If this was everything, life would be cake.
This is a little harder to handle. In the last two years, I've seen the equivalent of 6 months of growth. Adam will be 5 this fall, but he fits in a little better with a group of 2 and 3 year old kids than he does in my pre-k classroom. Adam can read, Adam can write. Adam has only been speaking full sentences for just over a year. If this was everything, life would be cake.
Everything for Adam is an extreme. He is deliriously happy or he is The Hulk. He is STRONG. He jumps, he climbs, he swings, he operates the dvd player one his own after being told for the 3,516,813,516,846,138,464th time that he is not permitted to handle the dvds. He will watch his favorite movies incessantly - I think they may be new to him every time. Don't even think about trying to get him to use an unfamiliar toilet; if you do get lucky, don't even think about getting him to flush it. It's scary. Haircuts are scary and they itch. Brushing teeth is scary and hurts. Movie theatres are scary. He hates to poop on the toilet and so I have to rinse poop out of his underwear on a near-daily basis - or maybe I'll find it in the bathtub. Again. He would love for me to allow him to wear diapers again - he was caught a few months ago trying to figure out how to put one on. Adam has a low patience level and his waiting tolerance is about 15 minutes. He has gone from having an amazingly healthy appetite with a wide range of tastes, to refusing his favorite foods. He wanted popcorn for dinner. When Adam wants to say something that is important to him, he won't stop saying it. You'll hear the same question repeated 4 or more times, regardless of whether you have answered it or not. He has a hard time going to bed when his brothers do because it hypes him up, and then he annoys his brothers by jumping on them and pestering them with every annoying move he can. Yes, he's a boy. He acts like a boy. Everything about Adam screams boy. It' s just he's not from the same planet as the rest of us. He wears the family out, but I wish I had more time to spend with him. Just for him. I lay in bed for a while a few hours ago and just wished I could hold him close and let him know how loved and safe he is.
It's hard.
We have some assessments coming up that I am hoping will bring some answers, or at least a step forward on the yellow brick road. I have suspicions, but I don't want to get caught up in those. Next week I have a meeting with a psychologist. Adam is not invited per office policy, as they do not want to hurt feelings of the child being discussed. His dad and I feel he would be oblivious to the content of the conversation, but there will be a chance for them to observe Adam another time. I just wish we could get straight to business - here's my kid, here's why I'm concerned, can we get started now?
We also have a hearing test. Adam had tons of ear infections as an older infant and has had balance difficulties, and likely allergies as well. He had ear tubes placed at 14 months and everything improved drastically. He has ear infections far less frequently now. With his lack of speaking until a year ago, we want to make sure his hearing is sufficient. Even with the ENT visits years ago, he never had a hearing test. I think it's time to check it out.
Our pediatrician also encouraged a speech evaluation, so we'll be having that set up. And as if there wasn't enough on Adam's plate, he's got his first dentist appointment in the next few weeks as well. Strangers poking in his mouth, sounds like a recipe for disaster! He does appear to have a cavity, which means a good chance we'll also be sent the direction of the hospital for a little sedation. Adam comes out of sedation raging.
I guess I need a little excitement in my life, right?
We have some assessments coming up that I am hoping will bring some answers, or at least a step forward on the yellow brick road. I have suspicions, but I don't want to get caught up in those. Next week I have a meeting with a psychologist. Adam is not invited per office policy, as they do not want to hurt feelings of the child being discussed. His dad and I feel he would be oblivious to the content of the conversation, but there will be a chance for them to observe Adam another time. I just wish we could get straight to business - here's my kid, here's why I'm concerned, can we get started now?
We also have a hearing test. Adam had tons of ear infections as an older infant and has had balance difficulties, and likely allergies as well. He had ear tubes placed at 14 months and everything improved drastically. He has ear infections far less frequently now. With his lack of speaking until a year ago, we want to make sure his hearing is sufficient. Even with the ENT visits years ago, he never had a hearing test. I think it's time to check it out.
Our pediatrician also encouraged a speech evaluation, so we'll be having that set up. And as if there wasn't enough on Adam's plate, he's got his first dentist appointment in the next few weeks as well. Strangers poking in his mouth, sounds like a recipe for disaster! He does appear to have a cavity, which means a good chance we'll also be sent the direction of the hospital for a little sedation. Adam comes out of sedation raging.
I guess I need a little excitement in my life, right?
I think I can sleep, now.
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